"For better, for worse"?

The regular Thought for the Day presenter Giles Fraser recently caused a storm of controversy where he attacked the allegedly ‘self-centred’ character of the modern wedding. He pointed out that modern weddings are now outlandishly expensive, not only for the (hopefully!!) happy couple, but for the guests as well. He was particularly scathing of the “my special day” and “little princess” mentality of many brides who seem to be devoid of any sense that a marriage is about placing your hearts and lives into the hands of another. Marriage, he reminded us, is a ‘sacrament’, an outward sign of the graciousness that God enacts within us.

Happily, this has not been my experience so far at Berkswell, although it has been in some of the other contexts within which I have ministered. However, even here at Berkswell, I am surprised at how many couples book their wedding reception venues before they get around to booking the church. Couples seem to assume that the Church will somehow “fit in” around the really important business of the couple having somewhere to have a jolly good party. I am not knocking good parties, but this order of priorities, in my view, is to have things back-to-front.

Marriage, as Giles Fraser reminds us, is a solemn and morally serious business. Whenever I publish the banns of marriage on Sunday mornings, I pray that the couple will have the inner freedom to commit themselves wholeheartedly to each other and that they will enjoy an enduring and satisfying relationship. The marriage service itself is remarkably short for such an important occasion. But this should not surprise us. It solemnises what is hopefully already, namely a true relationship that will, with God’s grace, grow from strength to strength, whatever challenges come the couple’s way.